Do you want to speak to the manager or someone who know's what's going on?
I think I'm agnostic, but I haven't decided.
I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
Hallmark Card: "I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're still here."
The last thing on earth you want to do will be the last thing you do.
Those that forget the pasta are doomed to reheat it.
Where the woman's neck ends the infinity begins.
I can't decide which room not to clean first.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
Q: How many snowboarders does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 50: 3 to die trying, 1 to actually pull it off, and 46 other to say, "man, I could do that!"
People used to laugh at me when I would say "I want to be a comedian", well nobody's laughing now.
Virginity is not dignity, but lack of opportunity.
All panties aside, it's Friday.
A committee is twelve men doing the work of one.
My five-year-old: "I don't want to be your daughter anymore. I QUIT!" No two-week notice or anything. She'd better not expect a reference.
Alcohol not only expands the blood vessels but also communications.
If I wanted to get trapped in a scary maze, I'd just go into my kid's bedroom.
My room + internet connection + music + food homework = perfect day.