Hard work is simply the refuge of people who have nothing whatever to do.
The only thing more important than your happiness is mine so get on it.
I think I married someone else's soulmate. I wish they'd come get him.
How can you tell soap operas are fictional? In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.
Salary is like a period you wait for it a whole month and it ends in a week.
Suicide: Mans way of telling God - "You can't fire me, I quit".
What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.
Learn from your parents' mistakes: use birth control.
What is the difference between a clever midget and a venereal disease? One is a cunning runt, and the other is a running c*nt.
If someone notices you with an open zipper, answer proudly: professional habit.
Do you need space? Join NASA!
Baby you're so cute you made my page 404.
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
How do you stop a fish from smelling? Cut its nose off.
Everyone can find one person or three cats waiting for him.
It's so cold outside, I actually saw a gangster pull his pants up.
One head is ok, but a whole body is much better.
Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
This must be the 8th castle because I just found my princess.
May you never leave your marriage alive.