When he proposed to her. She found it very engaging.
If homework goes too easy you are doing it wrong.
Glad I'm not a general, because auto-correct just changed "lunch order" to "launch order."
Brains are wonderful, I wish everyone had one.
I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me.
I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.
Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why? "Cause you're fatter than they are."
A consensus means that everyone agrees to say collectively what no one believes individually.
If mummies are from egypt, then where are daddies from?
Multitasking: screwing up several things at once.
How do you make a black nervous? Take him to an auction.
I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!
Your as worthless as, Tits on a boar hog.
A couple years ago my therapist told me I had problems letting go of the past.
With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.