An iron rule of a leader make love to your wife in the morning and you will be the first.
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.
Love is an extreme sympathy that leads to bed.
I assert dominance over millennials by responding to their texts with phone calls.
Men should be like coffee: strong, hot and not letting you sleep for the whole night. However, most of them are like copy machines: suitable only for reproduction.
What's long, black and smelly? The unemployment line.
If you get in the mood to do some work, someone will always wake you up.
The last time someone listened to a Bush, a bunch of people wandered in the desert for 40 years!
Darling, will you catch me if I jump into the water?' Darling, if I say yes, will you jump?
Learn from your parents' mistakes: use birth control.
What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.
Suicide: Mans way of telling God - "You can't fire me, I quit".
Salary is like a period you wait for it a whole month and it ends in a week.
How can you tell soap operas are fictional? In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.
I think I married someone else's soulmate. I wish they'd come get him.
The only thing more important than your happiness is mine so get on it.
Hard work is simply the refuge of people who have nothing whatever to do.
That moment when you laugh so much about your friends joke you end up farting accidently.
Magician: I need a volunteer. [man stands] Not you. [woman stands] Not you. GARY GET UP HERE! [Gary goes up] We've never met before, right?
What's the best way to get a man to remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday.