In principle, I can stop drinking, the thing is I don't have such a principle.
You won't drink away the alcoholism.
If someone is spitting behind you, it means you're in front.
Don't hate me because I'm beautiful. Hate me because your boyfriend thinks so.
With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Sorry, I'm out of my mind at the moment, please leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.
A man's idea of serious commitment is usually, "Oh alright, I'll stay the night."
You're wrong! I touched second base. I missed third... but I touched second.
There are all types of love in this world but never the same love twice.
How do you make a black nervous? Take him to an auction.
My New Years resolution is 1080p.
Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
Whats the difference between a jeweler and a jailer? One sells watches and one watches cells.
If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.
After the weekend the most difficult task is to remember names...
Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible. In a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.