This isn't an office. It's hell with fluorescent lighting.
It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
They were the type of children who would kill both parents and make you feel sorry for them because they were orphans.
When a woman breast feeds in public it's called natural, but when I do it, the woman calls the cops.
How do you make a black nervous? Take him to an auction.
If you have worked and didn't get anything, it means someone else got it.
You and Me = Grand Unification
If another woman steals your man, there's no better revenge than to let her keep him. Real men can't be stolen.
No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.
I run faster horny than you do scared.
Miss Anders... I didn't recognise you with your clothes on.
What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from Grandma have in common? You don't look down.
My ex-girlfriend told me nothing shocks her anymore so I switched her digital scale from Lbs to Kg.
If homework goes too easy you are doing it wrong.
When he proposed to her. She found it very engaging.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
What's the difference between a blonde and a guy? The blonde has the higher sperm count.
Women are cursed, and men are the proof.
Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible. In a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.
After the weekend the most difficult task is to remember names...