FRIDAY is my second favorite F word.
I found out about you from my last nightmare.
You're so fat that your husband rolled over after sex, rolled over again and was STILL on top of you.
You look like the grinch with plastic surgery gone wrong!
The Shining is my favorite movie about what can happen when you spend too much time with family.
Are you the energizer bunny cause you just keep going and going through my mind.
At my funeral the priest will throw my corpse into the crowd and whoever catches it will be the next to die.
Why do blacks wear white gloves? So they don't bite their fingers eating tootsie rolls.
Cannibals like to meat people.
How long does it take a black lady to shit? About 9 months.
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.
If you feel a bit lonely, forgotten, or just need someone to cheer you up remember...You can always change your birthday on facebook!
That moment when you laugh so much about your friends joke you end up farting accidently.
I'm smiling. This should scare you.
Are you a cat because you're purrrrrrfect.
If the music's too loud you're too old.
Baby, you make my floppy disk turn into a hard drive
I wanted to lose 10 pounds this year. Only 13 to go.
How is education going to make me smarter?
Time is like money, the less we have of it to spare the further we make it go.