Why do blacks smell? So blind people can hate them too.
Missionary Impossible: When 2 fat people try to have sex.
Why is a man's pee yellow, and his sperm white? So he can tell if he's coming or going.
Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen Pregnant? He forgot to wrap his whopper!
Hey, I'm not saying Hitler was a great guy, but he really saved the Histoy channel.
Do you need space? Join NASA!
Idiot college called, they want there mascot back.
How do you make a black nervous? Take him to an auction.
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
You're more special than relativity.
Spider-man has been unmasked in all his last 4 films. If I was him, I wouldn't even bother dressing up.
How many more times are my kids going to ask me if I know where something is before they realize they're asking the wrong parent?
Are you sitting on the F5 key? Because your backside is refreshing.
I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid.
It takes two to lie... One to lie and one to listen...
To the 20 year old girl who wrote an essay claiming she is too pretty to be allowed to lead a normal life:Same.
If you weigh 99 pounds and eat 1 pound of nachos you will be 1% nachos!
Roses are #FF0000, violets are #0000FF. All my base are belong to you.
I've been running as fast as I can, but I still can't catch my breath.