I saw a man yesterday who was so bald I could see what he was thinking.
Guy: Wanna go out? Girl: I have a boyfriend. Guy: It's just like soccer, just because theres a goalie doesnt mean you cant score.
Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend? She didn't suit his taste!
There is no point of running away form a sniper. You will die from exhaustion.
What do you call one black on the moon? Problem. What do you call ten blacks on the moon? Problems. What do you call the entire black population on the moon? Problem solved.
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it ...so I said "Implants?"
I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations that I've traveled to. But first, I'm gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won't fall down.
A man came up with a new invention, a vibrating tampon. That way a woman can be at her best when she is at her worst.
Football gave me a traumatic brain injury and I was only watching.
A four letter word that every man is afraid of? (More)
"Were any famous men born on your birthday?" "No, only little babies."
Sleep is my drug....my bed is my dealer and my alarm clock is the police.
What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day? Forget-me-nuts.
How does a man show he's planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
That moment when you laugh so much about your friends joke you end up farting accidently.
Whiteboards are remarkable.
Let's convert our potential energy into kinetic energy.
Where does one apply to be a "kept man"?
If a woman is cold as a fish, a man has to be as patient as a fisherman.
Marriage advice for dummies: Five worst things you can do5 Abandon4 Lie3 Cheat2 Abuse1 Forget to start the dishwasher