Love is an extreme sympathy that leads to bed.
*Puts down phone* OH MY GOD I HAVE ANOTHER HAND!
A warning shot into the head.
A black guy and a Mexican guy opened a restaurant. It's called Nacho Mama.
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.
I'm already visualising the duct tape across your mouth.
What did the blonde say when someone blew in her ear? Thanks for the refill.
I bet the worst part about being a birthday cake is when you're set on fire, and then eaten by the hero that saved you.
Oxygen is proven to be a toxic gas. Anyone who inhales oxygen will normally dies within 80 years.
How do you make a black nervous? Take him to an auction.
Did you hear about the blind prostitute? Well, you got to hand it to her.
An iron rule of a leader make love to your wife in the morning and you will be the first.
If you were a triangle youd be acute one.
Temples are free to enter but still empty. Pubs charge to enter, but are full. People ignore inner peace &choose; to pay for self destruction
Why do blacks smell? So blind people can hate them too.
Missionary Impossible: When 2 fat people try to have sex.
Why is a man's pee yellow, and his sperm white? So he can tell if he's coming or going.
Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen Pregnant? He forgot to wrap his whopper!
Hey, I'm not saying Hitler was a great guy, but he really saved the Histoy channel.