Scratches and dents on the doors of your car are the side effects of bad driving.
Dear ladies, if you want to have more free time and have fun on the weekends, teach your men fishing!
Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
How do you get a blonde to marry you? Tell her she's pregnant.
A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So she gets a divorce.
Two years ago I married a lovely young virgin, and if that doesn't change soon, I'm gonna divorce her.
Excuse me? Do you work at Little Ceasars? Cuz Ur Hot And I'm Ready.
What does a panda ghost eat? Bam-BOO!
Girl you're like a car accident, cause I just can't look away.
I wanted to thank you personally for the like. That's why I'm in your house.
What is a vampires favourite type of ship? A blood vessel.
Are your parents siblings?
Do you believe in love at first sight or do i pass by you again.
That moment when you laugh so much about your friends joke you end up farting accidently.
What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning? Introduces themself.
There is no point of running away form a sniper. You will die from exhaustion.
What do you call one black on the moon? Problem. What do you call ten blacks on the moon? Problems. What do you call the entire black population on the moon? Problem solved.
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it ...so I said "Implants?"