Baby you're so cute you made my page 404.
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
How do you stop a fish from smelling? Cut its nose off.
Everyone can find one person or three cats waiting for him.
It's so cold outside, I actually saw a gangster pull his pants up.
One head is ok, but a whole body is much better.
Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
This must be the 8th castle because I just found my princess.
May you never leave your marriage alive.
If you feel a bit lonely, forgotten, or just need someone to cheer you up remember...You can always change your birthday on facebook!
My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.
If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
I'm an antisocial-psychic. I can see ahead of time that I won't want to talk to you.
I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.
My track record as an adult is mostly false starts, hurdles and running around in a circle.
My "it's cold outside" post just went viral on Facebook.
Haven't seen any UFOs lately. Wondering if the galaxy is downsizing their space programs too.
A pedigree bulldog missing. Founders rest in peace.'
I start every conversation with my employees by saying, "I shouldn't be telling you this" just so I know they will listen.
I'm an adult. I don't cry over spilt milk unless it has coffee in it.