I'm an adult. I don't cry over spilt milk unless it has coffee in it.
The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.
To err is human, to blame it on somebody else shows management potential.
The truth is out there; it just hasn't been indexed well.
Why does night fall but never break and day break but never fall?
A nice box of chocolates provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?
If you find yourself in a hole. Stop digging.
If you have a shitty job, you probably shouldn't lick your fingers at lunch time.
I'm ready to start a family, in the sense that I have enough chip clips for 6 people.
Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
My wife says she is no longer buying junk food for the family because, "Everyone just eats it."
If you feel a bit lonely, forgotten, or just need someone to cheer you up remember...You can always change your birthday on facebook!
Even if you were twice as smart, you'd still be stupid!
Don't worry honey, they call it my dual-channel RAM.
If a mute kid swears does his mother wash his hands with soap?
Insanity is defined as doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.
Never argue with a woman when she's tired...or when she's rested.
Married men live longer than single men, but they're a lot more willing to die.
Why are men like blenders? You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
Why did the student study in an airplane? He wanted a higher education!