Don't worry honey, they call it my dual-channel RAM.
If a mute kid swears does his mother wash his hands with soap?
Insanity is defined as doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.
Never argue with a woman when she's tired...or when she's rested.
Married men live longer than single men, but they're a lot more willing to die.
Why are men like blenders? You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
Why did the student study in an airplane? He wanted a higher education!
Love is one long sweet dream... and marriage is the alarm clock.
What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull terrier? Lipstick!
If something goes wrong at the office, blame the guy who can't speak English...
The best way to lie is to tell the truth, carefully edited truth.
"Tired" isn't even a temporary state for me anymore it's more like a part of my personality at this point.
If you feel a bit lonely, forgotten, or just need someone to cheer you up remember...You can always change your birthday on facebook!
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day, why isn't anything in the store is free yet?
Sometimes I feel like a man trapped in a woman's marriage.
My drinking team has a bowling problem.
How can you tell that you're getting old? You go to an antique auction and three people bid on you!
Hey baby, I'm a power source, and you're the kind of resistor i'd like to deliver my load to.
Men live better than women. First of all, they get married later and secondly, they die earlier.