What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream? "I'm sweet on you!"
Do you know what the square root of 69 is? Ate something. (8.xxxxxxx....)
Baby you're so cute you made my page 404.
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
How do you stop a fish from smelling? Cut its nose off.
Everyone can find one person or three cats waiting for him.
It's so cold outside, I actually saw a gangster pull his pants up.
One head is ok, but a whole body is much better.
I return to work tomorrow with a child-like belief that 2017 is the year people will think at least twice before hitting Reply All.
This must be the 8th castle because I just found my princess.
May you never leave your marriage alive.
People who wait 4 hours to reply to my text with "lol" should be shot.
My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.
If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
I'm an antisocial-psychic. I can see ahead of time that I won't want to talk to you.
I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.
My track record as an adult is mostly false starts, hurdles and running around in a circle.
My "it's cold outside" post just went viral on Facebook.
Haven't seen any UFOs lately. Wondering if the galaxy is downsizing their space programs too.
A pedigree bulldog missing. Founders rest in peace.'