I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
Call your dad now and ask him what the wifi password is so he has time to find the little paper it's written on before Thanksgiving.
What is Dracula's favorite fruit? A nectarine.
Want to take a look at my benefit package?
The person reading this is so good-looking and committed to scrolling reels, I bet your farts don’t just smell good—they probably smell like fresh-baked cookies, with a hint of lavender, and a dash of success.
If you were a pole I would dance all over you.
I organized a threesome for (NAME)'s last night of freedom. There were a couple of no-shows, but he still had fun.
Are you an exception? I bet I can catch you.
I'll bet your parents hit the JERKpot!
My love for you is like diarrhea, I just cant hold it in!
Why are Fathers like parking spaces? The good ones are already taken!
If you feel unsure about a new haircut, ask a man if it looks okay. But ask him many, many, many times. Never be satisfied with his answer.
Do you know why beer goes through your system so fast? Because it does not have to stop to change color.
Where do you get virgin wool from? Ugly sheep.
There's something actionable in your pants.
Uber lost over a billion dollars in the last six months so they're asking their drivers to check between the seat cushions.
I have more talent in my smallest fart than you have in your entire body.
If I got a penny for everyone I've met who is as beautiful as you, I'd have all the money in the world.
It is true that you may fool all of the people some of the time; you can even fool some the people all of the time; but you can't fool all of the people all of the time.
How do you get off a non-stop flight?