What do you get if you cross an owl with a witch? A bird that's ugly but doesn't give a hoot!
You are my methods. I am nothing without you.
Lets play railroad I'll be the train and ur the tunnel
Why don't women have men's brains?Because they don't have penises to put them in.
How do you get a black man out of a tree? Cut the rope.
Women who seek to be equal to men...LACK AMBITION!
Why the chicken cross the road? To look for his cock.
Girl, we can play zoo..and you can tame my monkey
Wanna expand my polynomial?
Being asked to be best man is like being asked to make love to the queen. On the one hand it is a great honour, but you dread the moment when you have to rise to perform.
Why, yes, I am dressed for the weather.I am wearing a house.
What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you? A pool table.
Do fish get thirsty?
In my bed, it's perpetual motion all night long, baby.
You haven't texted me since you went to bed. Are we ok?
Why are teachers happy at Halloween parties? Because there is lots of school spirit!
5 y.o.: Why do people congratulate you when Mom is the one making the baby? Me: I helped 5: How? Me: 5: Me: I read her the instructions
You know I would love to show you the toys my elves make for adults.
Every day I spend a few hours on a running track. Next week I might even turn it on.