A girl never comments on another unless she's jealous.
You must be from Pearl Harbor, 'cause baby, you're the bomb.
I hate when I'm singing along to the Beastie Boys and they mess up the lyrics.
What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day? God save the kin.
Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day? Regular rocks are too heavy.
Why was Jesus a virgin when he died? Every time he touched a "wound" it closed.
Girl, you got more legs than a bucket of chicken!
Why don't blacks like Tylenol? They have to pick cotton to get to them.
What kind of tie does a ghost wear to a formal party? A boo-tie.
Winter is natures way of telling you to polish.
I like Jesus but he loves me, so it's awkward.
Love is like peeing yourself everyone can see but only you feel the warmth.
There's good climate in heaven, but a better company in hell.
I'm being managed by Don King again
If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
From all the butts, ours is the most important.
Are you a mum? I am not a dad! Maybe you could help me with that!
Hey baby, wanna play lion? OK. You go kneel right there and I'll throw you my meat.
You're like a fat stump, I'm always falling over you.
If I was an operating system, your process would have top priority.