New Years Eve forecast: Mostly drunk with a slight chance of passing out.
If pink and glitter were vitamins blondes would be the healthiest people alive.
Son asking father. Why are niggers so black daddy? Well son, whip this one while I think about it.
What did Bacon say to Tomato? Lettuce get together!
You had me at cello.
What do u call 1,000 black people on a plane back to Africa? A good start.
Dates a zombie: so someone finally likes me for my brain.
People come and go but birthdays do accrue.
Who the hell allowed me to be born in this stupid head?' a Thought said and killed herself...
What does a penis and an ego have in common? All men have one!
Black magic.... It doesn't work.
I'm Only Here For The Free Food
What food describes most men? Jerky.
Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.
A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of? Dating children.
There's a easter parade in my pants...wanna go?
Baby, you've bought yourself a cruise on the Love Boat. I'll be your captain.
She's so wrinkled, her mother was a Shar Pei.
Did you hear Vaseline is coming out with new labels for its petroleum jelly? They're going to have a picture of missing gerbils on it.
Don't let an extra chromosome get you down.