If I were a dog would you help me bury my bone?
What did the boy cat say to the girl cat on Valentine's Day? You're purrr-fect for me!
What's the most common sleeping position of a man? Around.
What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business? 1. No mind. 2. No business.
Men? On the whole, I'd rather buy new batteries.
What day does an Easter egg hate the most? Fry-days.
What does a man who loves his car do on February 14? He gives it a valenshine!
If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib!
Leading up to the wedding (NAME) has been on a whiskey diet. His lost three days already.
Dogs. Because when everyone looks at you like you're crazy, they look at you like you're amazing.
You give me Epsilon, I give you Delta. Together, we find limits.
At school he used to enjoy streaking. On it's own, not a particularly interesting fact, until you consider he was at an ALL BOYS boarding school.
I asked Barack Obama if we could get together later, and he said Yes We Can!
Does your train of thought have a caboose?
It's a sin to love another's wife and a punishment to love yours.
All I'm saying is there's a reason all the best love songs have the word crazy in them...
Why did the woman cross the road? Never mind that, what the fuck is she doing out of the kitchen?
Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born? To knock the penises off the smart ones.
What's the diffrence between a black guy and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.
I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.