Keep honking. I'm reloading.
There's a pigeon walking up the driveway. I don't care what he wants. I'm not answering the door.
You was sent back to earth from hell becasuse the devil choked on your soul.
Being an ugly girl is like being a man......you have to work
I just let my mind wander, and it didn't come back.
That one liner 'i'm not drinking too much tonight' never goes as planned...
A girl has to get in bed before 8 p.m. so she can come home at 11.
What did the boy bird say to the girl bird on Valentine's Day? Let me call you Tweet heart!
Why do they say that eating yogurt and oysters will improve your sex life? Because if you'll eat that stuff, you'll eat anything.
What is the best evidence that Microsoft has a monopoly? Santa Claus had to switch from Chimneys to Windows.
Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
What is the difference betwen a blonde and a Lamborghini? You don't let your friends borrow your Lamborghini.
What are the 2 reasons the girl broke up with her boyfriend? Because he was a cheetah and because he was lion too much to her.
What is a blonde's favorite color? Glitter.
You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.
For those who never forget a face, you are an exception.
Thanks honey for rolling over at 3am and telling me I should get some sleep.In my insomnia stupor that hadn't crossed my mind.
What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Santa stopped at 3 ho's.
She's so fat, she fell down and rocked herself to sleep trying to get up!
Lets unzip our genes and see if we can share codes together.