What do you call a cheap circumcision? A: a rip off
One day you will meet someone so amazing in every way who will want absolutely nothing to do with you.
Forget hydrogen, you're my number one element.
What's a man's idea of foreplay? A half hour of begging.
This isn't working out. I think we should start making other people miserable.
Did Noah include termites on the ark?
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
I need a new bank account. This one has run out of money.
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Last time I got caught stealing a calendar I got 12 months.
Every time someone calls me fat I get so depress I cut myself... a piece of cake.
Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?
Why did the blonde stare at a frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? Because it said "concentrate"!
What's the difference between a woman having her period and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist
If a stranger offers you a piece of candy...take two.
Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
I put the "fun" in dysfunctional.
The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.
Cancer cures smoking.