Life is sexually transmitted.
I love the F5 key. It s just so refreshing.
The most dangerous room in the house really depends on where your wife is at the moment.
Because of the disregard towards safety techniques people not only die but are also born.
He's a few clowns short of a circus.
Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex.
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
No! for the last time stop asking if i am drunk. I am not drunk! Who would name their kid drunk?
Scooters are for men who want to ride motorcycles, but prefer to feel the wind on their vaginas.
I love when I leave work early to surprise my wife at home and she greets me with those three very special words... "Were you fired?"
You should need a license to be that ugly.
Don't let your worries get the best of you; remember, Moses started out as a basket case.
I know milk does a body good, but damn girl, how much have you been drinking?
You're IQ's lower than your shoe size.
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
Q: How do you drown a blonde? A: Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the bathtub.
Lawyers really aren't so bad, it's just ninety-nine percent of lawyers that make the rest look bad.
I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
You ever make fun of someone so much, you think you should thank them for all the good times you've had?