A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off, I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn-signal fluid."
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
We need to look at how the world really works, not just accept the way we are told it works.
Have you heard about the new supersensitive condoms? They hang around after the man leaves and talk to the woman.
People say I'm condescending. That means I talk down to people.
I used to think love() was abstract, until you implemented it in MyHeart.
Life is sexually transmitted.
I've seen people like you, but I had to pay admission!
70% of our planet is covered in water, the other 30% is covered in idiots.
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
Avoid arguments about the toilet seat...use the sink...
Are you a sheep cause your body is unbaaaaalievable
Tomorrow: The best labor saving device of today.
It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.
Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves!
Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes? Toes go in first!
Why does a blond wear a tight skirt? To keep here legs closed.
Save your breath... You'll need it to blow up your date.